Step 1: Crank your oven to 400°F and wait for it to actually get there. Impatience killed my first three batches when I shoved them into a lukewarm oven.

Step 2: Dump flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in your big bowl. Whisk it around until everything looks evenly mixed because nobody wants a bite of straight baking powder.

Step 3: Add your cold butter chunks and smash them into the flour using whatever method works. I use my hands because I can feel when it’s right – you want it looking like chunky breadcrumbs with some bigger butter pieces hanging around.

Step 4: Toss apple pieces into the mixture and stir gently. Don’t massacre the apples into mush, just get them coated with flour so they don’t sink to the bottom.

Step 5: Whisk buttermilk and vanilla in your second bowl, then pour it into the flour mess. Use a fork to stir until everything just barely sticks together. It looks ugly and wrong but resist the urge to keep mixing.

Step 6: Scrape this shaggy mess onto a floured counter and pat it together maybe four times max. Shape into a circle about 7 inches across and inch thick.

Step 7: Cut into 8 triangles with a sharp knife using straight down cuts. Don’t saw back and forth or twist because that seals the edges and ruins the rise.

Step 8: Plop wedges on parchment paper with space between them, then stick the whole pan in your freezer for exactly 30 minutes. Set a timer because I’ve forgotten and left them for two hours.

Step 9: Brush tops with cream and slide into that hot oven for 15-20 minutes. They’re done when golden brown and sound hollow when you tap them.

Step 10: While they cool for exactly three minutes (longer and the glaze won’t soak in right), whisk powdered sugar and apple juice until smooth. Drizzle over scones and watch them disappear.